Shadow Clones in Hell
by void star blade
Summary: Orochimaru has died. and found out why the shadow clone tech was banned.Crack fic.


this is the most random thing i have ever written in my life. please take it as a humorous crack fic and not as anything else.

* * *

The shadow clone is a forbidden technique because you can't tell who the real ninja is not even if you are the caster. There is a second reason.

* * *

Orochimaru woke up. He looked around. He surmised that after 5000 years he had finally died and gone to hell. How did he know this? Simple he saw the most annoying human he had ever met. Everywhere. There were literally billions of the brat, though when he had finally succeeded in killing the Kyuubi brat he had been 40 years old and Hokage.

"Hoi!! The snake basterd is awake!"

"'bout time you got here! We have been wanting to pay you back for killing us!"

"And since we took over this part of hell to do so, you aren't getting away!"

"Come play with us, Orochimaru."

"We will have _sooooo_ much fun"

"We have had 4020 years to plan this."

"We are tired of waiting"

"And now we only have on thing left to say."

"_Run"_

Orochimaru ran. He ran hard. He ran screaming with a pack of Naruto on his tail, and there were many other packs splitting off to ambush him.

* * *

In heaven.

* * *

"Naruto, why are you grinning like that" Iruka asked.

"Orochimaru just arrived in hell." He replied, still grinning like a great white shark.

"Oh really! I take it your clones are giving him a warm welcome?" Sarutobi asked, while the other nin that had gone to heaven and knew of Orochimaru, either thru experience or reputation, looked on in interest.

"He will be boiling by tonight." Naruto said, then threw back his head and laughed an insane laugh which was joined by the other nin and everyone else Orochimaru had offended / killed/ pissed off in his long life.

* * *

"Now, why are we letting them do as they wish?" one angel asked another. 

"He outnumbers us, 50 to 1." The angel replied.

"Oh. Yah." The first angel replied.

" I hate shadow clones." A third angel muttered.

Sullen mumbles (no cursing though, theses are angels.) rose up in agreement.

* * *

In hell, several demons are watching Naruto (all trillion of him) chase Orochimaru across the brimstone pits.

"Now, why are we letting him do that?" one demon asked, except with a good deal more profanity.

"He &$#$$# out $$&&$& numbers us and is doing a #&$&$&&&&#$ job than us." Another demon growled, turning a passing sulfur cloud blue.

"I hate shadow clones." The demon formerly known as Itachi said with an astounding lack of anything resembling profanity, curses, or anything else generally considered demonic.

The reply turned the air in a three mile radius black.

* * *

cough hack cough "Where did all this smoke come from?" Naruto asked. 

"No idea" Naruto replied.

"Where'd he go" Naruto asked.

"There he is!!" Naruto yelled.

"GET HIM!!!!!" Naruto, Naruto, Naruto and Naruto shouted in unison.

"Oh _Shit_." Was all Orochimaru who had been trying to get away under the unexpected cover the smoke had provided, was able to get out before he was buried under mount Naruto.

* * *

Several miles away, near the border between purgatory and hell, four souls sat and enjoyed the show.

"Even if I never met the basterd, I have to admit I wish the brat had let me in on the carnage." Zabuza, denizen of outer hell, commented.

"Naruto-san is still as creative and determined as when we know him in life, neh, Zabuza-sama, Sasuke-san, Garra-san?" Haku, who had spent three hundred years terrorizing the wall guards of heaven and hell in order to reunite with Zabuza and become known as the frozen angel, commented.

"Hn" the demon known as Sasuke Uchiha grunted.

"Indeed." Garra, who was one of the few souls that dwelt in purgatory commented.

Silence.

And then…

"Pass the popcorn Lucifer, If you would." Deus said.

"Here." Lucifer said matching action to word as a scream of pure anguish and torment rang out across the plain.

"Now that had to hurt" Lucifer commented as he settled further into the couch he and his counterpart were seated in.

"Good. The snake has been a thorn in my side for so long….. and what he has done to the balance!" Death muttered degenerating into incoherent rambles.

"He has caused all of us numerous headaches and troubles. But now he is where he belongs." Dues said with finality.

"Good riddance" Jiraiya commented as he stole the popcorn.

* * *

The end. 


End file.
